So….last fall I took a little trip.
A 10,500 mile trip that included 19 states, 80 days, and 175 driving hours.
And I wasn’t alone. The Mister and the swinging apes of the testosterone jungle my four darling boys came along with me. And together we traveled 10,500 miles. In a travel trailer. With very little privacy. And doors made of flimsy pressed cardboard. And one teeny tiny bathroom.
~Our home for 80 Days~
By all accounts, the trip was epic. In fact if you look epic up the dictionary, right next to Homer’s Odyssey and a picture of zombie proof house, you would see our 10,500 mile road trip.
The thing about being a travel blogger and taking an epic road trip is that people expect you to write about it. No one had this expectation more than me. I was poised to sit down at the end of every day and write grand, sweeping stories that highlighted our adventures with a touch of humor and aplomb.
What I didn’t expect was that being on the road would change me so dramatically that I would toss all my expectations out the window with my privacy and my square footage. Nothing in my packing, my route planning, and my Type A list making prepared me for this internal shift in perspective. I was prepared for a change of pace and a change of location. But, I was not prepared for a change of me.
When I sat down at the end of the day, I just had no desire to intimate anything about our adventures de jour. I could probably claim that I was exhausted from a day of schlepping four boys around a litany of historical sites. Or I could assert that the reverberation of the multitude of little voices off the flimsy cardboard walls drove me to distraction.
While those things are pointedly true, the bigger truth was that I had no desire to rehash the day or pen my MOART (Mother of All Road Trips) memoirs. Life on the road was all it took to knock me right out of the Type A fast lane. Having spent my entire adulthood as a comfortable member of the overachievers club, this sudden personal paradigm shift caused me many nights of reflection.
Somewhere between the late night stargazing and laughing our way through the best sites America had to offer, it hit me. I was, for the first time, really living my life. I wasn’t a passive participant in a life that just rolled from one predictable day to the next. I was fully engaged in a life of my choosing with the people who mattered more to me than anyone. And that one little act had the critical capacity to fill my soul up to the top and more.
~Fully living looks something like this~
With my soul filled so completely, I had no desire to search outside myself and my surroundings for validation or acceptance. And that is what a huge part of blogging is really all about. Oh sure, there are monetary and other values to pitching your life stories out to the World Wide Web for strangers and loved ones to pilfer. But there is always a part of blogging that is motivated by a need to reach out and connect and feel as though you are making a mark. Blogging is an acceptable form of therapy that fills a void.
On the road, living my dreams, I had no void to fill. I was filled completely.
I’ve been back at home long enough now that the memories from that trip are become fuzzy on the edges, and I am merging back onto the fast lane. I don’t think I’ll ever get back to the speed I was at before, both in life and in blogging. I learned many valuable lessons on that trip-some of which involved the merits of indoor plumbing, but most that involved what kind of person I want to be.
It breaks down like this:
Blogging Lesson: I don’t have to write a post about it to prove I was there and sharing my memories in a way that meets the SEO standard does nothing to add to their value for me as a person.
Life Lesson: Live your life in such a way that your choices saturate your soul to the point of completion. If you find that your life choices, all on their own, don’t fill you up, make different choices.
~ My Family-My Treasure~
Oh sure, I’ll probably get around to writing about every last detail of every single location (because I am still a little OCD about my lists), but for right now, I feel like keeping it all to myself. I’m just not yet ready to have my treasured jewels pawed and prodded by the internet masses. I’d like to keep the shine on them for a little while longer. But even more than that, my silence on subject bears witness to the change I experienced. Some life changes (and trips that cause them) are so epic that no amount of storytelling can ever do them justice.
I couldn't agree with you more! We have traveled cross country in an SUV with our 4 kids several times. I had the same ah ha moment last summer driving from TX to OH. My experiences truly made me focus on what is really imporatnat in my life and to concentrate more of my energy in those areas of my life!
Ding, ding, ding! You got it exactly right. I experienced the same thing last year during our several week trip to Hawaii. Rather than writing these grand posts each day, I found myself wrap up in a different me, fully taking in the moments rather than trying to figure out how to eloquently get them out onto the screen. Great article!
You are so spot on!!!!! Experiencing – REALLY experiencing – life is so much more important than anything on a blog to do list. 🙂 While sharing experiences with raders is important, a lot can be said for savoring the memories and coming back to it later with more wisdom, insight, and experience. 🙂
or "readers". Some of us are not "writers" today. lol
I'm so glad you had such an amazing trip. That's a lot of ground to cover with a lot of fabulous places to see. I had a similar realisation about six months ago. Prior to that I wasn't fanatically into the blogging game but I blogged three times a week and tried to get our name out there through all those various means that bloggers do … then one day in the midst of living life in New Zealand I suddenly felt like you. Of course I had a few others of my own reasons but it's really lovely to read a post by someone else about this and be able to relate.
I understand what you're saying completely. I've several times had to re-evaluate what and how I'm sharing the exploring and adventures my family goes on. Thanks for the reminder, too, as I'm preparing to take a 6-week road trip with my 4 boys under the age of 6. More fun, less stressing!
I totally agree. I still have so many adventures to write about but still have to figure out how best to really share them. There are also some things I choose to just keep in our family photos albums or simply to myself.
So true…I think it's so easy to get caught up in a digital world that we forget the living and breathing world around us (case in point: my kids arguing in the other room right now as I try my best to let them sort it out on their own…). ALso? WOW! What a trip! That sounds amazing.
This is something I struggle with as a mother and a blogger. I have to remind myself to take time, put down the camera, and LIVE my life! Such a great post — I'm glad that you were able to really experience the trip with your family without worrying about SEO and blog posts 🙂
A MOART is an amazing thing to rehash to those of us who of course want to know more about it, but having those personal memories and stories all to yourself is even more valuable. I still have tales from our trip to Europe I could share, but at the end of the day I'm just so glad that I put blogging aside for a few weeks and got to watch my family blossom and grow together. Finding that balance, a life of travel and sharing it with the world, is tough, but it sounds like you are figuring out a balance that keeps the awesome mom that you are in balance with the OCD, Type A that your personality craves (mine too as you know). You are awesome lady! Never forget that!
I love this. You articulate it so well. For me, it is a little different, but the meaning is still the same. We can travel to St Simons and I can post pictures and write about it all day long on my travel website. But my oldest says something sweet that melts my heart and grabs me in a new way, and literally changes my life….and on my personal blog, I simply post a picture, I dare not even write about it. Because it is sacred and lovely. And it is so much more real.
What a great post, Jessica. I felt exactly the same way during and after my time off-liine last summer. In May I walked the camino de Santiago pilgrimage route in Spain and then spent three months in Turkey with my kids and in-laws. Because I really wanted to immerse myself, I took a sabbatical from social media. It was one of the best things I've done for myself. When I got back to the U.S. I was very reluctant to get back on-line and re-engage with what seemed like a lot of "white noise". I've slowly re-engaged but with a different mind-set. Some people still ask me when I'm going to blog or write more about our experiences last summer but there are just so many very personal moments that I want to preserve for myself and my family. I want to savor them, not dilute them by over-sharing. Sure, my close friends get to hear my stories but some moments are meant to stay internal. Your life lesson really resonates with me — "Live your life in such a way that your choices saturate your soul to the point of completion."
Why Traveling Made a Travel Blogger Stop Blogging About Travel
We have done numerous road trips around Australia with our children before the days of electronic games and blogging. I know I would never have had the energy at the end of the day to blog 🙂
I am sure you memories are vivid enough for you blog about them eventually
Michele recently posted…Time for a Garage Sale
Thank you for intimating what I have been feeling guilty for almost 8 months now. Last summer I solo-tripped with my 4 young boys (5,3,1-yr old twins) for nearly 11,000 miles, camping most of the time. I also had the best intentions of being this amazing woman and getting high praise. I quickly discovered that finding an internet connection or power supply was more tiring than wrangling kids all day. I wrote the first 7 days and have been avoiding the rest on my to-do list ever since. My only regret is that I lost my camera halfway through the trip and am left with only a few random photos I’d texted to their dad, but I’m with you. One day I’ll get around to documenting. I was so glad last summer to have the undistracted time to show them what “living” really means.
Michelle H recently posted…So Many Ways To Fall In Love with Boston
This is a beautiful post! I can totally relate! In 2004, we had a MOART- though Europe. I’m JUST now getting around to sharing pieces of the story, and praying we revisit the route someday:)
So happy to find your site, and hoping our paths cross someday!
I have to agree… it might ruin your SEO credits but it really goes to show that you are doing this because you love what to do. Rock on!
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