Seven Stages of Long Term Travel

~Shiny, Happy Family at the Beginning of the Journey~

Everyone has heard of the Seven Stages of Grief, but you probably didn’t know there were Seven Stages of Traveling the Country with Four Kids in a Confined Space.  Well, I am assuming there are seven, because it sounds like a good round number, but it’s hard to say scientifically, as I don’t think we have yet passed through all the stages. 

As we turn the corner to our fourth week on the road, we have experienced four stages of emotional experiences in our journey.  I share them with you here so that if you choose to take a journey with any number of kids for any length of time, you can find comfort in knowing that others have traversed the stages and survived.  (Again, I am assuming here, because we really don’t know yet if we will all come out of this alive.)

Stage One: Euphoria

The first week of our journey could only be described as a soaring high.  Everything was new.  Every experience was exciting.  It was smiles from ear to ear and happiness all around.  The anticipation of the finally getting on the road broke open into unbridled joy and passion for the dream realized.  Every moment was precious family memory to be tucked away in our treasure chest of happy memories.  It was during this first week that I gushed that my life finally felt like it finally belonged to me and I rosily dreamed that we could stay on the road forever.

~Malaise Strikes after a long day in Dayton, Ohio~

Stage Two: Malaise

We might have stayed in the Euphoric Stage longer, but we logged a ton of miles in those first two weeks.  Our goal was to get north pretty quickly, and since we live pretty far to the south that was a long haul.  The miles wore on everyone pretty quickly.  No one was completely off the rails cranky, but the irritability was percolating under the surface.  It was a feet dragging, eye rolling, just give me my Nintendo and nobody gets hurt attitude that climbed in the car to slog through the miles each day.  The shine was definitely off.

~Misery hits somewhere in Illinois~

Stage Three: Misery

At this point, I would have sworn I was in the middle of a Midol commercial, except the stars were four prepubescent boys.   The whining, crying, foot- stomping and general lying on the floor and lamenting our very existence was at an life time high.  There was no shine.  There was no excitement.   As far as I was concerned somebody could take that life that was finally mine and fold it in four corners.  I certainly didn’t want to stay on the road forever.  I was trying to figure out how to get back home yesterday.  And for the record, I was going there by myself.  The rest of the whining, sniveling people I brought on this journey to make happy memories and all that nonsense could just hang, for all I cared. 

~Comfort Can be Found in the Unlikeliest Places~

Stage Four: Conquering and Comfort

Wallowing around in a misery of your own making can only last for so long before it defeats you or you decide that you were made for better things than wallowing.  Somehow, without pomp or ceremony, we collectively turned a corner as a family at the beginning of the fourth week on the road.  After stewing around for week three, we had to shake of the dust and mud to see things clearly, but things definitely look better, although more realistic.  We’ll likely never go back to the rosy days at the beginning of the trip, but that wasn’t real life anyway.  We came on this trip not just to see great sites, but to have great family experiences.  Coming through the muck together brought us to the decision point of pulling together or falling apart, and we pulled together and became a stronger family because of it.  Through the ups and downs, we have found a resting place.  We have learned that home (and the comforts of home) aren’t in one location, but wherever there are people who love you no matter what, who are willing to wallow with you when you hit the bottom, and pull closer to you to make memories that last.    

~Stay the Course~

What stages are next?  I have no idea.  But, I know we will get through it together and be a better and stronger family for the ride.  Stay tuned.